“We don't know the Devil's side of the story, because God wrote all the books.”

“God, you’re so hot, Irena. When are we going to get together, have ourselves a litter of little kiggens?”“On the first of never, Andy. And they wouldn’t be kiggens. They’d be pities.”

“Back in August, I wrote a post about the supposed race to the bottom with ebooks, refuting some nonsense written by an establishment bonehead.This meme won't die. People are still convinced that new ebooks are going to be priced at ten cents, and writers will starve, and this will cause a second Great Depression where banks will close and people will be forced to buy Kindles with food stamps, and then the earth will enter another ice age where all the bunnies will freeze to death.”

“While the modern Bible is missing many of its original passages, the Book of Bob isn’t one of them. You’re probably getting it confused with the lost Book of Fred.”

“Like people would ever want to read books on an electronic screen.”

“But after eating his one-thousandth sinner, Bob became prideful of his accomplishments, and that angered God.”“Why would that anger God?”“This was the Old Testament. God got pissed off a lot. Didn’t you ever read Job?”

“Don't prioritize the mundane.”