“While the modern Bible is missing many of its original passages, the Book of Bob isn’t one of them. You’re probably getting it confused with the lost Book of Fred.”

“Like people would ever want to read books on an electronic screen.”

“Some people are born with a fire inside them. The will to succeed. It isn’t a learned behavior. It’s just some unknown biological factor that makes them try harder.”

“We don't know the Devil's side of the story, because God wrote all the books.”

“But after eating his one-thousandth sinner, Bob became prideful of his accomplishments, and that angered God.”“Why would that anger God?”“This was the Old Testament. God got pissed off a lot. Didn’t you ever read Job?”

“God, you’re so hot, Irena. When are we going to get together, have ourselves a litter of little kiggens?”“On the first of never, Andy. And they wouldn’t be kiggens. They’d be pities.”

“I think guns are just a symbolic substitute for male genitalia, and I’m okay in that respect.” “Fine. If they get in the house, you can whack them with your genitals.”