“I mean it wasn’t an empty hole, there was al­ways some­thing in it, but it was never right. It never fit. I went to col­lege for a short time, until I sat back one day and said to my­self: An­drew, what the fuck are you doing here? And it clicked in my head that I wasn’t there be­cause it’s what I wanted, I was there be­cause it’s what peo­ple ex­pected, even peo­ple I don’t know, so­ci­ety. It’s what peo­ple do.”

“Since change is con­stant, you won­der if peo­ple crave death be­cause it’s the on­ly way they can get any­thing re­al­ly fin­ished.”

“That’s what I tell peo­ple. My of­fi­cial ver­sion of the truth.”

“You are still not fucking immortal, sir. And your men certainly aren’t, but I don’t give a shit about the men. It’s you we can’t replace. And I’m supposed to be here to protect you. How can you engage in hand-to-hand combat in the water when you are supposed to be in the rear? What do you think you are made of, Captain? Until just now when I saw you bleed red blood like the rest of us, I wasn’t sure.”“It’s not my blood,” Alexander said.“What?”But Alexander shook his head.”

“And I find myself saying, “It wasn’t really about her.” And finding it’s true.What do you mean?” Norah asks.It was about the feeling, you know? She caused it in me, but it wasn’t about her. It was about my reaction, what I wanted to feel and then convinced myself that I felt, because I wanted it that bad. That illusion. It was love because I created it as love.”

“I know what he’s doing, what he’s getting at. And I understand it. I understand guilt. But when I nod my head and smile in agreement, it’s only for his benefit. What he doesn’t know is that I will never leave him like she did. Never. I’ll never choose a cushy life of means over the people I love. Never.”