“I've never met a Labradoodle who wasn't an asshole.”

“Surely the woman had more important things to do than to teach my sister how to read. I was waiting for cookies, for fuck's sake.”

“they bread the chicken fingers in Cap'n Crunch cereal. Yeah. Take a moment to absorb how incredible that is, because once you do, you're going to be checking yourself and a platter of that shit into t he nearest hourly motel.”

“Do you question my authority? I am the headmistress of Evernight!" It was Balthazar who answered her by casually slinging his crossbow back upon his shoulder so that it just happened to be aimed straight at Mrs. Bethany. He wasn't threatening her, exactly, but it was very clear that he wasn't going to back down. As she jerked upright in shock, Balthazar drawled, "School's out.”

“It wasn't badass. I don't really do badass.”

“The silence between us stretched out, but it wasn't awkward. Sometimes there are people you can be quiet with, and you never feel the need to fill the gap with meaningless chit-chat. I'd only become that close to a couple people in my hometown, and I'd always thought it took years. Lucas and I were already there. ”

“She's a librarian, Sim said. They're not teachers; don't give you half as much hassle. If there's a fire in the school and I've got to choose who I'm gonna save - a teacher or a librarian - the teacher's gonna burn every time.(p. 24)”