“they bread the chicken fingers in Cap'n Crunch cereal. Yeah. Take a moment to absorb how incredible that is, because once you do, you're going to be checking yourself and a platter of that shit into t he nearest hourly motel.”

“Surely the woman had more important things to do than to teach my sister how to read. I was waiting for cookies, for fuck's sake.”

“I've never met a Labradoodle who wasn't an asshole.”

“You gotta learn how to take a compliment, because I'm not going to stop making them.”

“For those who may not know this, Madeline recruited me specifically to help hunt and take out a serial soul thief-""I call him Cap'n Crunch," Luca interrupted, and was rewarded with a roomful of frowns. "You know. Because he's a cereal thief?”

“You should go." "I can't." "Because you want to stare at the monster?" Alec's green eyes blaze, but with a wholly human fire now. "Or because you pity me?" I couldn't guess which possibility he loathes more. I fold my arms. "I can't leave because the door's locked. Believe me, I would've gone hours ago if I could have." "Oh. Of course." Then he looks so abashed--so boyish, and so handsome--that I almost want to laugh.”

“(difficult to make a real confession and show what happened when you're such an egomaniac all you can do is take off on big paragraphs about minor details about yourself and the big sole details about others go sitting and waiting around)”