“A tribulation gives you the opportunity to test a truth you have always believed.”

“We're giving you an opportunity to belong to something and not fight alone for what you believe in. Believe me when I say that feels pretty good.”

“You should have to pass an IQ test before you breed. You have to take a driving test to operate vehicles and an SAT test to get into college. So why don’t you have to take some sort of test before you give birth to children? When I am President, that’s the first rule I will institute.”

“Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.”

“I believe luck is preparation meeting opportunity. If you hadn’t been prepared when the opportunity came along, you wouldn’t have been lucky.”

“Why did adults have to be so thick? They always say “tell the truth,” and when you do, they don’t believe you. What’s the point?”