“There's no such thing as an unabridged dictionary.”

“The probability of life originating from accident is comparable to the probability of the Unabridged Dictionary resulting from an explosion in a printing factory.”

“So, once again, I ignored my poor, repressed libido--which was currently clamoring for me to lure Ryu behind the counter and knock him out with an unabridged dictionary in order to make him mine--and went ahead and started in on what he wanted to know.”

“When you look up 'hilarious' in the dictionary, there's a picture of you.”

“Author's Note: I wanted to read the book that would begin to answer some of my questions, because I felt I couldn't write it... I also doubted my ability to handle monsoon and slum conditions after years of lousy health. I made the decision to try in the course of an absurdly long night at home alone in Washington, D.C. Tripping over an unabridged dictionary, I found myself on the floor with a punctured lung and three broken ribs in a spreading pool of Diet Dr Pepper, unable to slither to a phone. In the hours that passed, I arrived at a certain clarity. Having proved myself ill-suited to safe cohabitation with an unabridged dictionary, I had little to lose by pursuing my interests in another quarter-- a place beyond my so-called expertise, where the risk of failure would be great but the interactions somewhat more meaningful.”

“Every couple has two stories - the edited one to be shared from the couch and the unabridged version best left alone.”