“Warthogpox High School was the worst school in the city of Wyvernwing, and Harry Hames Moffer was its most infamous student.”

“In other news, Aang dominates on “Are You Smarter Than the Fire Nation”. Bella Swan becomes engaged to her boyfriend of one year, Edward Cullen, and unceremoniously sends Jacob Black to the “friend zone”. Pop star Candy Cane trades her controversial career for being a housewife (which was a move that is very unpopular with many of her young fans), and Jacquel Rassenworth is still the Internet’s biggest fame-nut (cue APPLAUSE).”

“I say haven’t we had enough of just tossing our children in jail? Make them do community service, I say!”

“And I kind of like the Teen Rebels; they seem to be better than the Bullying Trio. Still, watch your backs, rebels!”

“Time healed all wounds, but there was nothing you could do to fix stupid.”

“I think people think that being a teenager is all about fun, but what it is about is responsibility.”

“Without trials and tribulation, there would be no hero. Without a hero, there would be no story. Without a story, there is no life as life is made up of vignettes of loving, learning and overcoming.”