“Helen Lawson: They drummed you out of Hollywood, so you come crawling back to Broadway. But Broadway doesn't go for booze and dope. Now get out of my way, I've got a man waiting for me.”

“Helen Lawson: The only hit that comes out of a Helen Lawson show is Helen Lawson, and that's ME, baby, remember?”

“I've got a library copy of Gone with the Wind, a quart of milk and all these cookies. Wow! What an orgy!”

“A man must feel he runs things, but as long as you control yourself, you control him.”

“When you're climbing Mount Everest, nothing is easy. You just take one step at a time, never look back and always keep your eyes glued to the top.”

“Do not measure the number of tragedies you sustain, but to quantify the success you derive from them.”

“Never let anyone shame you into doing anything you don't choose to do. Keep your identity.”