“He was... wearing a tasselled velvet nightcap that I [Amy] noticed the Doctor eyeing up. If Boris didn't watch out, that'd go missing and we'd never hear the end of 'Nightcaps are cool.”

“[The Doctor] pulled the thing out of Prince Boris's mouth, waving it around. 'Oh. Blimey. This is not a spatula. What is it?'I [Amy] stared at the stubby thing. It looked like the world's chunkiest novelty gift pen... I coughed. 'That, Doctor, is the sonic screwdriver.''Ah,' Dr Smith boggled. 'Right. Is it? Oh dear.' Another pause. 'What does it do?''Well... it screws things... sonically. On a good day, we fight off monsters with it.''Monsters, eh?' Dr Smith nodded gravely and... pointed it at the doorway like a gun and said, hopefully, 'Pew! Pew! Pew!' He turned back to me. 'Like that?''Other way up,' I said gently.”

“So... Boris. Are you evil?' [said the Doctor].'Not at all, my dear sir,' chuckled Boris.'You just chuckled,' groaned the Doctor. 'Chuckling's a dead givaway in my books. Along with putting your hands on your hips and snogging another man's wife.”

“I love you,' cooed Fake Amy. 'You dance so much better than the Doctor.''Silly.' Real Amy nudged her in the ribs. 'Hippos dance better than the Doctor.”

“How are you, Rory?' [the Doctor] asked.I [Rory]... answered him. 'It's been odd being you.''Isn't it?' The Doctor's smile didn't quite reach his eyes.'How do you cope?''Ah...' The Doctor picked away at a scrap of loose paint on the door. 'Well, I just get as close as I can to a happy ending, then I shut the door behind me and move on.'I nodded.We shut the door behind us and moved on.”

“Which brings me to you, Prince Boris. And I'm sorry, but here's the thing... I think you're one of the nicest Russian aristocrats I've ever met and not been forced into an arranged marriage with,' [said the Doctor]”

“Oh, and I [Amy] may also have told him that I quite fancied Dr Smith [The Doctor]. Which in the 1780s was probably punishable by stoning or corsets.”