“As an Odd-Fish, it is not my job to be right,' said Sir Oort. 'It is my job to be wrong in new and exciting ways.”

“So I got a new job, and I start tomorrow. I’m excited to have a job, and bummed out I’m going to be working.”

“You hit me again," I said, growing oddly annoyed."Ya think?" Evil Riggs said. Smart-ass."Part of my brain hurts. I demand to know what that part of my brain is called and what its job is.”

“I won't blast people out of my way just because they're there' said Harry. 'That's Voldemort's job.”

“(Frances has gotten out of bed again and come to her parents' room...)'How can the wind have a job?' asked Frances. 'Everybody has a job,' said Father.'I have to go to my office every morning at nine o'clock. That is my job. You have to go to sleep so you can be wide awake for school tomorrow. That is your job.'Frances said, 'I know, but...'Father said, 'I have not finished. If the wind does not blow the curtains, he will be out of a job. If I do not go to the office, I will be out of a job. And if you do not go to sleep now, do you know what will happen to you?''I will be out of a job?' said Frances.'No,' said Father.'I will get a spanking?' said Frances.'Right!' said Father.'Good night!' said Frances, and she went back to her room.”

“Three people are interviewing for a job. The first thinks his odds are 33.3 percent of landing the job. The second guy, so sure of himself, thinks his odds are 100 percent. The third guy, however, knows he has a 50 % chance of getting the job, and a 25 % chance of getting convicted of murder. He likes those odds.”