“Maybe you’re smiling as I stumble to put my feelings into words. But I’m trying to do her justice, you know?”

“Yeah, I guess I do.” My heart plummets again. “Or I did. Maybe I still do. I don’t know. But I didn’t bring her to the dance. I brought you. It seems I spend all my time with you.”“Why is that?” I’m genuinely curious but aware that I could be opening a door I don’t want opened. I quickly rephrase. “I mean, why do you want to?”He looks thoughtful.“You’re funny,” he finally says. “I laugh a lot when I’m with you. I always have fun when I’m with you. And you try to hide it, but you’re actually pretty sweet.”“That’s a horrible thing to say,” I say petulantly, crossing my arms tightly again. He chuckles.“And you’re really smart.”“Now I know you’re lying.”“You are. But you try to hide that as well. And you’re pretty.”“Worse and worse,” I moan. He grins.“And when I’m with you, I don’t want to be anywhere else or with anyone else.”

“...I'll stumble through all the words, knowing I couldn't begin to tell her what I'm feeling. There're no words for that.”

“You will die.” “I guess. I don’t know.” She shook her head, trying to pick through her feelings. “I used to think I was alive just because I kept getting away. If someone didn’t put a bullet in my head, I was winning. I was still breathing, right?” She looked at the blackened land around her, feeling tired and sad and alone. “But now I’m thinking it ain’t like that. Now I’m thinking that once you got enough dead looking over your shoulder, you’re dead anyway. Don’t matter if you’re still walking and talking, they weigh you down.”

“If you throw stones on my way to stumble and I fall, you try to put extra care when passing my way, lest you stumble and fall.”

“You’ve seen me at my worst. Maybe you should see me at my best.”My words hang between us, heavy and charged, and I don’t know what the fuck I am doing.“When are you at your best?” she asks hesitantly. And I can see from the determined look on her face that she is trying hard not to feel intimidated. I’m impressed. She’s like a kitten standing up to a lion. “In bed.”