“...God's penis would still rank high among those vistas a priest and a nun could not comfortably share.”

“It’s funny to hear priests and nuns argue with each other.”

“If someone who had given up his whole life to thinking about goodness and rightness and truth and still expected nuns to cook him his fish fingers (because after all, nuns haven't got anything else better to do, and none of them are ever going to be priests or become the Pope, because women aren't good enough for that), then something was very wrong. How could he have missed the bit about everyone being equal in the eyes of God?”

“We find comfort among those who agree with us - growth among those who don't.”

“Whether God exists or does not exist, He has come to rank among the most sublime and useless truths.”

“His actions had saved three US cities from annihilation but only a few very high-ranking people knew it. Fairfax was just pleased he could still wear jeans and sneakers to work.”