“Homework is a term that means grown up imposed yet self-afflicting torture.”

“But if I could do anything?Maybe you would want to be able to save the world, the Voice said. Did you ever think of that?No. I frowned. Leave that to the grown-ups.But grown-ups are the ones destroying the world, the Voice said. Think about it.”

“If you're not reading - with your heart as well as your brain - you will be one stupid grown up. Even worst, you'll be missing out on one of the best experiences you can possibly have. Nowhere will you meet more interesting people than in books.”

“Uh-huh," I said. "Because all you mad, evil scientists sit around whipping up batches of Pillsbury's finest during your coffee breaks. I mean, this is pathetic.”

“Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It's a grain. It's like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem.”

“Reading is not work, not a chore, not a drudgery; reading is the most joyful thing, yet, in the world.”

“I will torture you for a human eternity, during which time you will beg me for death by an Opus 24/24, or an ax, or a thousand snakebites. I can see the future, Daniel, and I am looking forward to it, every excruciating second of your murder and dismembedment. Isn't that a wonderful English word, dis-member-ment?”