“Max-Dogs, dogs, go away, let me live another day.”

“Max: "Okay guys, I had a couple thoughts I wanted to go over with you."Iggy: (pretends to snore loudy)Max: (throws another pinecone at him)Iggy: "Quit throwing things at me!"Max: "Glad you could join us.”

“Did I want a dog? No. Did I need a dog? Also no. We were six kids running for our lives, not knowing where our next meal was coming from. Could we afford to feed a dog? Wait for it—no.”

“Awwww, lame, we're not going to disneyworld. (said by the amazing talking dog, Total)”

“And Max, I've put some scraps in a bowl for your dog," Mom said. "It's on the floor, by the back door." The flock and I went still. Uh-oh, I thought. Total stomped up to me, his glare accusing. "A bowl on the floor!" he seethed. "Why don't you just chain me to a stake in the yard and throw me a bone!”

“Sighing, she gave a brief nod. “I was supposed to win. I was supposed to finish you off. They never counted on you winning. And then you didn’t kill me. It was awful.”“You’re welcome,” I said, feeling fresh anger ignite. “I’ll try not to humiliate you by letting you live next time.”(Max II to Max)”

“When are you going to trust me Max?" asked Fang."When I go completely bonkers," I laughed.”