“Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It's a grain. It's like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem.”

“Everyone lives a self-centered life...whether its trivial like what's for breakfast, or more ambitious, like achieving some lofty goal, a person is constantly on her own mind.”

“Ridiculous really, when you think that I come from a broken home and I probably have low self-esteem. But the way I see it, people who go around spending themselves easily don’t have low self-esteem. They have really high self-esteem. If someone like me tried to live like that, there’d be nothing left. I don’t know. It’s complicated. The girls who roll with guys like this are gorgeous. Somehow that makes them immune to being reduced.”

“Why are breakfast food breakfast foods?" I asked them. "Like, why don't we have curry for breakfast?""Hazel, eat.""But why?" I asked. "I mean seriously: How did scrambled eggs get stuck with breakfast exclusivity? You can put bacon on a sandwich without anyone freaking out. But the moment your sandwich has an egg, boom, it's a breakfast sandwich.”

“Your self esteem is like a notch below Kafka's.”

“He looked like a vulture dissatisfied with its breakfast corpse.”