“A cute girl, a pissed off Were-spider, and an occult boulnty hunter carrying a small arsenal walk into a bar...I bet this joke was gonna have one helluva punch line.”

“Women already come equipped with a core of steel fiber strength, depths of resolve a man cannot comprehend. It’s not the dynamic strength men have, all power and show. It’s a strength of endurance, fortitude. It is the strength that allows women to conceive life and to carry that life until the day it can stand on its own.”

“Nobody should have to die to a crappy soundtrack”

“When she passed on the ham the explanation was she was a vegetarian. Kat had asked why she was eating eggs, then, if she didn't eat meat. Smiling, she replied, "I don't kill animals for food, but I am pro-choice.”

“Are you fighting evil tonight?...Then you are doing the Lord's work. Shut the fuck up.”

“And vampires never sparkle unless they just ate a stripper.”

“A wink and a smirk walk into a bar, and the bartender asked them what they were drinking, when all of the sudden a mustache in a cowboy hat riding a vagina runs through the door, and right there I have to stop the joke, because not only does it not have a punch line, but that punch line was kidnapped, and if it’s ever found, it will probably be rated Not Safe For Work. 
”