“Nobody should have to die to a crappy soundtrack”

“A cute girl, a pissed off Were-spider, and an occult boulnty hunter carrying a small arsenal walk into a bar...I bet this joke was gonna have one helluva punch line.”

“Women already come equipped with a core of steel fiber strength, depths of resolve a man cannot comprehend. It’s not the dynamic strength men have, all power and show. It’s a strength of endurance, fortitude. It is the strength that allows women to conceive life and to carry that life until the day it can stand on its own.”

“When she passed on the ham the explanation was she was a vegetarian. Kat had asked why she was eating eggs, then, if she didn't eat meat. Smiling, she replied, "I don't kill animals for food, but I am pro-choice.”

“Are you fighting evil tonight?...Then you are doing the Lord's work. Shut the fuck up.”

“And vampires never sparkle unless they just ate a stripper.”

“We have found a strange foot-print on the shores of the unknown. We have devised profound theories, one after another, to account for its origin. At last, we have succeeded in reconstructing the creature thatmade the foot-print. And Lo! It is our own.”