“They didn't have much troubleteaching the ape to write poems:first they strapped him into a chair,then tied the pencil around his hand(the paper had already been nailed down).Then Dr. Bluespire leaned over his shoulderand whispered into his ear:'You look like a god sitting there.Why don't you try writing something?”

“I draw him closer by his tie and whisper into his ear, "Cricket Bell, I have been in love with you for my entire life.”

“Ben leans over and whispers in my ear, “I missed you.”I bite my lip and whisper that I missed him too. He leans back in his chair all calm and collected, while I break out in a sweat, just hearing him say those three little words.”

“He shifted his attention back to me and leaned in closer. “I told you to behave. I don’t want to have to arrest you ever again.”“Um . . . okay.”I felt him slide something under my hand. He leaned in even closer, his mouth by my ear, and whispered, “Although I wouldn’t mind handcuffing you.”Oh. My. God.”

“If somebody writes a great poem, people don't run around applauding the pencil, saying 'Oh, what a great pencil'...I'm a pencil in God's hands.”

“Sophie, displaced to the chair next to Lulu, dug her in the side. "Keep him," she whispered. "Nail his foot to the floor if you have to. He's gold.”