“Hundreds of hysterical persons must confuse these phenomena with messages from the beyond and take their glory to the bishop rather than the eye doctor.”

“Taking a single letter from the alphaber," he said, "should make life simpler.""I don't see why. Take the F from life and you have lie. It's adding a letter to simple that makes it simpler. Taking a letter from hoarder makes it harder.”

“Sixty minutes of thinking of any kind is bound to lead to confusion and unhappiness.”

“Boys are beyond the range of anybody's sure understanding, at least when they are between the ages of 18 months and 90 years.”

“The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.”

“If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons. ”

“My mother, for instance, thought-or rather, knew-that it was dangerous to drive an automobile without gasoline: it fried the valves, or something. 'Now don't you dare drive all over town without gasoline!' she would say to us when we started off" (31).”