“I always begin at the left with the opening word of the sentence and read toward the right and I recommend this method.”

“With sixty staring me in the face, I have developed inflammation of the sentence structure and definite hardening of the paragraphs.”

“A drawing is always dragged down to the level of its caption.A word to the wise is not sufficient if it doesn't make sense.”

“I hate women because they always remember where things are.”

“Hens embarrass me; owls disturb me; if I am with an eagle I always pretend that I am not with an eagle; and so on down to swallows at twilight who scare the hell out of me. But pigeons have absolutely no effect on me.”

“Let us not look back to the past with anger, nor towards the future with fear, but look around with awareness.”

“In other countries, art and literature are left to a lot of shabby bums living in attics and feeding on booze and spaghetti.”