“Man has gone long enough, or even too long, without being man enough to face the simple truth that the trouble with man is man.”

“Art – the one achievement of man which has made the long trip up from all fours seem well advised”

“I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed.”

“The dog has seldom been successful in pulling man up to its level of sagacity, but man has frequently dragged the dog down to his.”

“The noblest study of mankind is Man, says Man.”

“I am not a cat man, but a dog man, and all felines can tell this at a glance - a sharp, vindictive glance. ”

“One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.”