“My mom said I was a handful. Now I'm helpful.”

“I help up my left hand. The sapphire and diamonds sparkled.“Oh my God,” my mom said and fell out of her chair.“Mom? Mom!” I said getting worried. “I’m okay,” she said and her hand appeared on the screen as she climbed back into the kitchen chair. “You just gave me quite a shock. I wasn’t expecting that. Engaged?” she panted.Sloane and Tammi”

“One night I heard my dad say to my mom: I can't help but think of the good times we're having now as being painful memories later on. And my mom saying, c'mon now honey.”

“Mom always said I was born to sit in the electric chair, but I'm proving her wrong. I'm going to die on my knees, begging for my life.”

“No offense, but your mom is strange. She's a hit MILF, but totally off the wall."I take my hand back."Eww! Colin, you just called my mom a MILF! I'm completely grossed out!”

“Percy," my mom said. "I give you my blessing.""Be safe brother!" Tyson pleaded."Enchiladas!" Grover said. I wasn't sure where that came from, but it didn't seem to help much.”