“I can't win with you. I can't win with you! You say you're done...I'm fucking miserable over here! I had to break my phone into a million pieces to keep from calling you every minute of the damn day--I've had to play it off like everything is just fine at school so you can be happy...and you're fucking mad at me? You broke my fuckin' heart!”

“He grabbed my arm. "Wait. You're mad?" I yanked my coat from his grip. "You know...I don't even know why I'm surprised." His eyebrows pulled in. "I can't win with you. I can't win with you! You say you're done...I'm fucking miserable over here! I had to break my phone into a million pieces to keep from calling you every minute of the damn day-I've had to play it off like everything is just fine at school so you can be happy...and you're fucking mad at me? You broke my fuckin' heart!" His last words echoed into the night.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? I was just trying to make it easier on you! Do you know how miserable I’ve been?”I frowned. “You looked just fine after break.”“That was for you! I was afraid I’d lose you if I didn’t pretend to be okay with being friends. I could have been with you this whole time? What the fuck, Pigeon?”“I….” I couldn’t argue; he was right. I had made us both suffer, and I had no excuse. “I’m sorry.”“You’re sorry? I damn near drank myself to death, I could barely get out of bed, I shattered my phone into a million pieces on New Year’s Eve to keep from calling you…and you’re sorry?”I bit my lip and nodded, ashamed. I had no idea what he’d been through, and hearing him say the words made a sharp pain twist inside my chest. “I’m so…so sorry.”“You’re forgiven,” he said with a grin. “Don’t ever do it again.”“I won’t. I promise.”He flashed his dimple and shook his head. “I fucking love you.”

“That was for you! I was afraid I’d lose you if I didn’t pretend to be okay with being friends. I could have been with you this whole time? What the fuck, Pigeon?”“I….” I couldn’t argue; he was right. I had made us both suffer, and I had no excuse. “I’m sorry.”“You’re sorry? I damn near drank myself to death, I could barely get out of bed, I shattered my phone into a million pieces on New Year’s Eve to keep from calling you…and you’re sorry?”

“You’re sorry? I damn near drank myself to death, I could barely get out of bed, I shattered my phone into a million pieces on New Year’s Eve to keep from calling you … and you’re sorry?”I bit my lip and nodded, ashamed. I had no idea what he’d been through, and hearing his say the words made sharp pain twist inside my chest. “I’m so … so sorry.”“You’re forgiven,” he said with a grin. “Don’t ever do it again.”“I won’t. I promise.”He flashed his dimple and shook his head. “I fucking love you.”

“You said you're done with me, and I accept that. I'm a different person since I met you. I've changed... for the better. But no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to do right by you. We were friends first, Pigeon. I will always love you, but if I can't make you happy, it doesn't make much sense for me to try to get you back. I can't imagine being with anyone else, but I'll be happy as long as we're friends. "You want to be friends?" I asked, the words burning in my mouth."I want you to be happy. Whatever that takes.”

“Get in the fucking car. You're a mean drunk.You haven't seen me mean, mama's boy!I told you we're close!Yeah, so are me and my asshole! Doesn't mean I'm going to call it twice a day!”