“I even got a pretty good handle on which week I shouldn’t give her any extra shit, which fortunately for Shepley, was the same week not to fuck with America. That way, we had three weeks to not be on guard instead of two, and we could give each other fair warning.”

“I can see her weighing her response, concentrating like a cliff diver studying the ebb and flow of the tide."Um, well... could you at least give me an idea?""Two weeks give or take a week or two.”

“In the end, I think the relationships that survive in this world are the ones where two people can finish each other's sentences. Forget drama and torrid sex and the clash of opposites. Give me banter any day of the week. ”

“Hank wants to have a conversation tonight. We had a conversation last night! I can’t have another conversation! He’l say shit that freaks me out because he’s, like, in my brain. We haven’t even known each other for two weeks! How can he be in my brain? It’s unreal ..”

“We cannot scale Mt Everest in 20 minutes, but give us two weeks, and we'll be back with T-shirts for everyone that read, "I climbed Mt. Everest and this lousy T-shirt is all I got.”

“Instead, we were given a publication called the Weekly Reader, which was like a newspaper for four-foot illiterates.”