“I wasn’t mad at you. I just have a bad habit of lashing out at those I care about. It’s a piss poor excuse, I know, but I am sorry,” he said, enveloping me in his arms.”

“Travis walked in and shut the door behind him. “I was mad. I heard you spitting out everything that’s wrong with me to America and it pissed me off. I just meant to go out and have a few drinks and try to figure some things out, but before I knew it, I was piss drunk and those girls…,” he paused. “I woke up this morning and you weren’t in bed, and when I found you on the recliner and saw the wrappers on the floor, I felt sick.”“You could have just asked me instead of spending all that money at the grocery store just to bribe me to stay.”“I don’t care about the money, Pidge. I was afraid you’d leave and never speak to me again.”

“I’m drunk, Travis. It’s the only excuse I have.”“You just want me to hold you until you fall asleep?”I didn’t answer.He shifted to look straight into my eyes. “I should say no to prove a point,” he said, his eyebrows pulling together. “But I would hate myself later if I said no and you never asked me again.”I nestled my cheek against his chest, and he tightened his arms, sighing. “You don’t need an excuse, Pigeon. All you have to do is ask.”

“I meant what I said before. You need to walk away, Pidge. God knows I can’t walk away from you.”I touched his arm. “You don’t want me to leave.”Travis’ jaws tensed again, and then he took me under his arm. He paused for a moment, and then kissed my forehead, pressing his cheek against my temple. “It doesn’t matter how hard I try. You’re going to hate me when it’s all said and done.”I wrapped my arms around him. “We have to be friends. I won’t take no for an answer,” I quoted.”

“But nothing. The way you’re looking at me right now? This is exactly why I didn’t tell you.” I closed my eyes. “I won’t live like that anymore, Trav. Not even with you.”“Whoa! Calm down, Pigeon. Let’s not get carried away.” His eyes focused and he walked over to wrap me in his arms. “I don’t care what you were or what you’re not anymore. I just want you.”“I guess we have that in common, then.”He led me to the bed, smiling down at me. “It’s just you and me against the world, Pidge.”I curled up beside him, settling into the mattress. I had never planned on anyone besides myself and America knowing about Mick, and I never expected that my boyfriend would belong to a family of poker buffs. I heaved a heavy sigh, pressing my cheek against his chest.“What’s wrong?” he asked.“I don’t want anyone to know, Trav. I didn’t want you to know.”“I love you, Abby. I won’t mention it again, okay? Your secret’s safe with me,” he said, kissing my forehead.”

“This is it,” he said with a sigh.“What?”“The moment. When I watch you sleeping…that peace on your face? This is it. I haven’t had it since before my mom died, but I can feel it again.” He took another deep breath and pulled me closer. “I knew the second I met you that there was something about you I needed. Turns out it wasn’t something about you at all. It was just you.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? I was just trying to make it easier on you! Do you know how miserable I’ve been?”I frowned. “You looked just fine after break.”“That was for you! I was afraid I’d lose you if I didn’t pretend to be okay with being friends. I could have been with you this whole time? What the fuck, Pigeon?”“I….” I couldn’t argue; he was right. I had made us both suffer, and I had no excuse. “I’m sorry.”“You’re sorry? I damn near drank myself to death, I could barely get out of bed, I shattered my phone into a million pieces on New Year’s Eve to keep from calling you…and you’re sorry?”I bit my lip and nodded, ashamed. I had no idea what he’d been through, and hearing him say the words made a sharp pain twist inside my chest. “I’m so…so sorry.”“You’re forgiven,” he said with a grin. “Don’t ever do it again.”“I won’t. I promise.”He flashed his dimple and shook his head. “I fucking love you.”