“I can't believe Gram just said sex appeal.”

“Gram made me go to the doctorto see if there was something wrongwith my heart.After a bunch of tests, the doctor said:Lennie, you lucked out.I wanted to punch him in the face,but instead I started to cryin a drowning kind of way.I couldn't believe I had a lucky heartwhen what I wanted was the same kind of heartas Bailey.I didn't hear Gram come in,or come up behind me,just felt her arms slip around my shaking frame,then the press of both her hands hardagainst my chest, holding it all in,holding me together.Thank God she whispered,before the doctor or I could utter a word.How could she possibly have known that I'd gotten good news?”

“I gasp, because isn't that just exactly what I've been doing too: writing poems and scattering them to the winds with the same hope as Gram that someone, someday, somewhere might understand who I am, who my sister was, and what happened to us.”

“He looks at me incredulously. "I think you're amazing..." Why would he think this? Bailey is amazing and Gram and Big, and of course Mom, but not me. I am the two-dimensional one in a 3-D Family”

“Life's a freaking mess. In fact, I'm going to tell Sarah we need to start a new philosophical movement: messessentialism instead of existentialism: For those who revel in the essential mess that is life. Because Gram's right, there's not one truth ever, just a bunch of stories, all going on at once, in our heads, in our hearts, all getting in the way of each other. It's all a beautiful calamitous mess. It's like the day Mr. James took us into the woods and cried triumphantly, "That's it! That's it!" to the dizzying cacophony of soloing instruments trying to make music together. That is it.”

“Telepathically, I tell her I'm sorry. I tell her I just can't confide in her right now, tell her the three feet between us feels like three light-years to me and I don't know how to bridge it.Telepathically, she tells me back that I'm breaking her broken heart.”

“I can't shove the dark out of my way.”