“Humanity was a passing notion to him; something he liked to try on for size and model in the dressing room, but never actually felt compelled to buy.”

“I have made a vow to myself never to accept a guy's Invitation to Crazy, and from the moment you showed up at my dressing room door, that's what I've felt like you've been trying to hand me.”

“It's against my principles to buy a book I haven't read, it's like buying a dress you haven't tried on.”

“Thomas: Wow, that treehouse is like twice the size of our actual house.Pam (whispering): Don't say 'like.'Me: Oh, ha ha, let him say what he wants, let's not be--Thomas: That treehouse is twice the size of our actual house.”

“Dean had never quite imagined his life might end like this. Naked in a Tijuana brothel with an eighty-year-old woman dressed like Janine from Spinal Tap sizing up his junk and looking distinctly unimpressed. He really wished the room wasn't so heavily air-conditioned.”

“Women always seemed to bring the size they wished they were to the fitting room, rather than the size that would actually fit.”