“Are you telling me you think Ranger's a superhero?'Think about it. We don't know where he lives. We don't know anything about him.'Superheroes are make-believe.'Oh yeah?' Lula said. 'What about God?”

“[Ranger] "How's your mental health?" he asked. "I heard about Soder."[Stephanie] "I'm rattled.""I have a cure."Oh, boy.He put the truck in gear and headed for the exit. "I know what you're thinking," he said. "And that wasn't where I was going. I was going to suggest work.""I knew that."He looked over at me and grinned. "You want me bad."I did. God help me.”

“What's with the super soaker?" -Stephine"I had a stork of genius when you called me this morning I said what do I have to do to protect myself from the vampire? And the answer that came to me was holy water! I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner." -Lula"You have the Super Soaker filled with holy water?" -Stephine"Yeah I sucked it out of the church. You know that birdbath thing they got right up front?" -Lula"THe baptismal font?" -Stephine"That's it. They got it filled with holy water, free for the taking." -Lula"Brilliant." -Stephine”

“Babe," Ranger said. "You're looking a little strung out. Is there anything I should know?"I'm on a sugar withdrawal. I've given up desert and it's all I can think about." That had been true five minutes ago. Now that Ranger was standng in front of me I was thinking a cupcake wasn't what I actually needed.Maybe I can help you get your mind off doughnuts," Ranger said.My mouth dropped open, and I think some drool might have dribbled out.”

“I don't know much about cars," Joyce said, "but I think someone took my engine.”

“Amen" Lula said and she made the sign of the cross. "I thought you were Baptist.""Yeah, but we don't got any hand signals for an occasion like this.”

“Ranger sent us to check on you," Hal said. "We just got here, and we heard shots." "Some moron ate my jelly doughnut," Lula said. "So I shot him.”