“Does your mother know that you're carrying a gun? I'm going to tell her. I'm going to call and tell her right now." She sent me a look of utter disgust and slammed the front door. I was 30-year-old and Mrs Morelli was going to tell my mother on me. Only in the burgh.”

“You sure you don't want to go?” Grandma Mazur asked my mother.“I didn't know Moogey Bues,” my mother told her. “I've got better things to do than to go to a viewing of a perfect stranger.”“I wouldn't go either,” Grandma Mazur said, “but I'm helping Stephanie with this here manhunt. Maybe Kenny Mancuso will show up, and Stephanie will need some extra muscle. I was watching Television, and I saw how you stick your fingers in a person's eyes to slow them down.”“She's your responsibility,” my mother said to me. “She sticks her fingers in anybody's eyes I'm holding you accountable.”

“Get me a gun. If I don't go into labor soon, I'm going to shoot myself. And pass the gravy. Pass it now."Valerie - To the Nines”

“Stephanie: “I have a list of Kenny's friends. I'm going to run through it.”Morelli: “Where'd you get this list?” Stephanie: “Privileged information.”Morelli: “You broke into his apartment and stole his little black book.”Stephanie: “I didn't steal it. I copied it.”Morelli: “I don't want to here any of this. You're not carrying concealed, are you?”Stephanie: “Who, me?”Morelli: “Shit, I must be crazy to work with you”

“You're going to find this hard to believe, but cops aren't required to carry emergency condoms."Joe Morelli”

“He [Ranger] stopped in front of my parents' house, and we both looked to the door. My mother and my grandmother were standing there, watching us."I'm not sure I feel comfortable about the way your grandma looks at me," Ranger said.[Stephanie] "She wants to see you naked.""I wish you hadn't told me that, babe.""Everyone I know wants to see you naked.""And you?""Never crossed my mind." I held my breath when I said it, and I hoped God wouldn't stike me down dead for lying.”

“I looked over at him. "Is that a proposal?"There was total silence for a couple beats. "I'm not sure. It just popped out.""Let me know when you're sure.""Would you say yes?" Morelli asked."I'm not sure.”