“Everyone knows that if you buy chocolate with spare change, then the calories don't count.”
“If you buy chocolate with loose change the calories don’t count.”
“The calories in chocolate don't count because chocolate comes from the cocoa bean, and everyone knows that beans are good for you.”
“Calories don't count if they're connected to a celbration. Everyone knows this.”
“Why didn't I buy a new phone earlier? Why don't I always walk around with a spare phone? It should be the law, like having a spare tire.”
“Count calories if you like, but go ahead and gorge yourself on books. What have you got to lose but a small mind?”