“Go figure that. Joseph Morelli with a house, a dog, a steady job, and an SUV. And on odd days of the month he woke up wanting to marry me. It turns out want to marry him on even days of the month, so to date we've been spared commitment.”

“I'm going to marry you one day, you know." "Is that a promise?" "If you want it to be.”

“In those early days of our relationship though, I always thought that she was so perfect that there had to be a catch. But there wasn't one. Five months and two days after our very first meeting, we were engaged and nine months after that we were married. And every day that I spent on this planet in the company of Ashling, I experienced the same sense of euphoria that I had tasted on our first date. I experienced something that in its simplest form can only be described as true love.”

“Have you any idea how hard it is to go nine months out of the year with no sex when you’re married to such a fine piece of male anatomy that he should have been the god of fertility instead of the god of death?”

“I wanted a divorce, so I bought myself a house, to give me the incentive to stay married.”

“Why?" His voice is suspicious. "Are you two going out now?""Yeah, we set up our first date right after he asked me to marry him. Please. We're just friends.”