“I attributed the incidence to temporary insanity, and in my own defense, I'd like to say I haven't run over anyone since.”

“Suppose I lay down on the pavement and you run over me a few times with my own car...just for old times.”

“You deserved to get run over. And besides, I barely tapped you. The only reason you broke your leg was because you panicked and tripped over your own feet.”

“I like my nuts," Mooner said. "I don't want them cut off. I'd be, like, nutless then.”

“You ever get any death threats? How about ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends? You run over anyone recently?” ~ Morelli”

“Mr. Landowsky was eighty-two and somehow his chest had shrunk over the years, and now he was forced to hike his pants up under his armpits. "Oi," he said. "This heat! I can't breathe. Somebody should do something."I assumed he was talking about God. "That weatherman on the morning news. He should be shot. How can I go out in weather like this? And then when it gets so hot they keep the supermarkets too cold. Hot, cold. Hot, cold. It gives me the runs." I was glad I owned a gun, because when I got as old as Mr. Landowsky I was going to eat a bullet. The first time I got the runs in the supermarket, that was it. BANG! It would all be over.”

“I figured I'd embellish the truth a little, since the police might not be up on the finer points of bounty hunterism and might not understand about commandeering.”