“I can't help it. I'm just a big gasbag. I still got leftover barbeque gas." She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long far. "Excuse me," she said.”

“I don't feel so good." Lula said. And she farted. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart. "Excuse me." she said. I was horrified and impressed all at the same time. It was a record breaking fart. On my best day, I couldn't come near to farting like that.”

“She squeezed her eyes shut. “No.”“Excuse me?”She sniffed, opened her eyes then looked up. “No. I don’t wish you to leave.”His eyes changed from lukewarm to hot.The iron of the seat met her back. Oh yes, definitely she was the keeper at the zoo and she’d just offered her own leg, medium-rare, to the lion.”

“Whoa!" she says as I plow into her. " What are you DOING? Get off me!" I hang on tight. "Can't a girl just hug her big sister?" She stops fighting me. "Are you dying? Am I dying? Did Grandma die? I laugh. "No one died." "Then get off!”

“I didn't want it to be this way." "Yes, you did," she said, "because it is.""I just want to be with someone normal," he said. "I just want to have a normal life.""Excuse me," she said."You're a little crazy," he said. "You're too old to act the way you do. You've got to grow up. You've got to take care of yourdelf. I'm afraid for you. You can't think that people are going to take care of you all the time.”

“I just want you, Trevor,” she said, knowing nothing else mattered as long as she had him. “You have me, sweetheart,” he said, pulling away just far enough so that he could look into her eyes. “I promise you will always have me.”