“I plunked down on the couch beside him. "I don't have any accomplishments of any kind. I'm stupid and boring. I don't have any hobbies. I don't play sports. I don't write poetry. I don't travel to interesting places. I don't even have a good job." "That doesn't make you stupid and boring," Morelli said. "Well, I feel stupid and boring. And I wanted to feel interesting. And somehow, someone told my mother and grandmother that I played the cello. I guess it was me...only it was like some foreign entity took possession of my body. I heard the words coming out of my mouth, but I'm sure they originated in some other brain. And it was so simple at first. One small mention. And then it took on a life of it's own. And next thing, everyone knew.""And you can't play the cello." "I'm not even sure this is a cello."Morelli went back to smiling. "And you think you're boring? No way, Cupcake.""What about the stupid part?"Morelli threw his arm around me. "Sometimes that's a tough call.”

“Stephanie: “I have a list of Kenny's friends. I'm going to run through it.”Morelli: “Where'd you get this list?” Stephanie: “Privileged information.”Morelli: “You broke into his apartment and stole his little black book.”Stephanie: “I didn't steal it. I copied it.”Morelli: “I don't want to here any of this. You're not carrying concealed, are you?”Stephanie: “Who, me?”Morelli: “Shit, I must be crazy to work with you”

“Bob had a dog buscuit stuck to his head. "How does he always get food stuck to him?" I asked Morelli. "I don't know," Morelli said. "It's a Bob mystery. I think stuff falls out of his mouth and he rolls in it. I'm not sure."-Morelli And Stephanie”

“I see you looking at my cookies,' my father said to Morelli. 'Don't even think about it. Go get your own cookies.”

“I don't believe this," Morelli yelled. "I don't fucking believe this. What do you do, sit in bed at night and think about ways to fuck up my life?”

“Oh, for God's sake," I said. "Just give me the stupid thing." I took the panic button and stuck it into my Super Sexy Miracle Bra. "GPS," Ranger said to Morelli. "Probably I can find her breast without it," Morelli said. "But it's good to know there's a navigational system on board if I need it.”

“Morelli smiled. "It could have been Jenny Ragucci. That makes much more sense. I had good luck with sluts."I looked over at him.All in the past," Morelli said. "I'm a cupcake man now."Whoa, dude," Mooner said. "That's so, like, cosmic.”