“I trudged down the stairs and stood on the sidewalk examining my car. Deep scratch in the roof from a misplaced bullet. Hole in windsheild plus embeddedbullet in passenger seat. Bashed-in right rear quarter panel and right passenger-side door from slegehammer. Previous damage from creepy gun attack by insane stalker, And someone had spray painted EAT ME on the driver's side door."Your car's a mess,"Lula said. "I don't know what it is with you and cars.”

“Remember, so swashing anyone into the trunk of your car!”“Sure,” Lula said, “I know that”

“I pulled into the Grand Union parking lot and drove to the end of the mall where the bank was located. I parked at a safe distance from other cars, exited the BMW, and set the alarm.You want me to stay with the car in case someone's riding around with a bomb in his backseat looking for a place to put it?" Lula asked.Not necessary. Ranger says the car has sensors."Ranger give you a car with bomb sensors? The head of the CIA don't even have a car with bomb sensors. I hear they give him a stick with a mirror on the end of it.”

“I don't know much about cars," Joyce said, "but I think someone took my engine.”

“My mother came into the kitchen. "Whose car is that parked in front of our house?""That's Stephanie's new car," Grandma said. "Isn't it a pip?"One of my mother's eyebrows raised in question. "Two new cars? Where are these cars coming from?""Company cars," I said."Oh?""Anal sex is not involved," I told her.My mother and grandmother both gasped."Sorry," I said. "It just slipped out.""I thought only homosexual men did anal sex," Grandma said."Anybody with an anus can do it," I told her."Hmm," she said. "I got one of them.”

“What's with the super soaker?" -Stephine"I had a stork of genius when you called me this morning I said what do I have to do to protect myself from the vampire? And the answer that came to me was holy water! I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner." -Lula"You have the Super Soaker filled with holy water?" -Stephine"Yeah I sucked it out of the church. You know that birdbath thing they got right up front?" -Lula"THe baptismal font?" -Stephine"That's it. They got it filled with holy water, free for the taking." -Lula"Brilliant." -Stephine”

“DeAngelo blew up my bus, so I filled his car with shit. Genius, right?""DeAngelo didn't blow up the bus," Connie said. "I just got the report from the fire marshal. The coffeemaker shorted out and started the fire."Some of the color left Vinnie's face. "Say what?""Oh man," Lula said. "DeAngelo is gonna be pissed. Least he won't know who did it.""I left a note," Vinnie said.Lula gave a hoot of laughter and fell off her chair.”