“If you buy chocolate with loose change the calories don’t count.”

“Everyone knows that if you buy chocolate with spare change, then the calories don't count.”

“Calories don't count if they're connected to a celbration. Everyone knows this.”

“And something chocolate, of course. A meal was not a meal without some sort of chocolate for desert.”

“Only men you can count on these days are Ben and Jerry.”

“[Stephanie] That's not the point. I can't just let monkeys loose in Trenton. [Lula] Why not? There's all kinds of crazy shit loose in Trenton.”

“He’s sort of a homeless horse,” I said.“I’m leaving for the airport in two seconds, and I won’t be back for a couple days. You can put the horse in the garage, but I don’t want that horse in my apartment.”“Who would put a horse in an apartment? That’s dumb.”“Where’s the horse staying now?”“My apartment.”“I can always count on you to brighten my day,” Ranger said. And he disconnected.”