“I'm telling you, it's fu**ing hard to be classy”

“It's fucking hard to be classy”

“I buy wine according to the bottle design. After I get down the first glass it all tastes okay to me so I figure you go for something classy to look at on the table”

“The note wasn't signed, but I could tell it was from Morelli by the way my nipples got hard.”

“Does your mother know that you're carrying a gun? I'm going to tell her. I'm going to call and tell her right now." She sent me a look of utter disgust and slammed the front door. I was 30-year-old and Mrs Morelli was going to tell my mother on me. Only in the burgh.”

“Now that we know you're not a hundred percent vampire you should stop trying to suck necks," I said to Ziggy."I'll try," Ziggy said, "but it's a hard habit to break.”

“That might work," I said. "I'm good at faking it."This led to a couple moments of uncomfortable silence from both of us."You didn't mean... ?" Morelli asked."No. Of course not.""Never?""Maybe once."His eyes narrowed. "Once?""It's all that comes to mind. It was the time we were late for your Uncle Spud's birthday party.""I remember that. That was great. You're telling me you faked it?""We were late! I couldn't concentrate. It seemed like the best way to go.”