“It's been almost a month since you found a body. I knew you were due."Carl Costanza - Seven Up”

“Looks like you're on a roll. This is the second car you've toasted this week."Carl Costanza - Hot Six”

“You'd tell me if we were getting married, wouldn't you? I mean, you wouldn't just appear on my doorstep one day and say we were due at the church in an hour.”

“Do you know what I did? I urrrrrinated on the cake at my ex-wife's wedding. Pissssed all over the icing."Melvin Baylor - Seven Up”

“they have enough testosterone between them, if testosterone were electricity they could light up New York City for the month of August”

“How was your day?" Morelli asked me. "Oh, you know, the usual. Stole a truck. Blew up a building, and brought seven monkeys home with me.”

“Go figure that. Joseph Morelli with a house, a dog, a steady job, and an SUV. And on odd days of the month he woke up wanting to marry me. It turns out want to marry him on even days of the month, so to date we've been spared commitment.”