“It's not a good idea to mess with a woman who has a pimple”

“I don't know if it's a good idea to give a woman a box of bullets when she's got a pimple.”

“-You're gloating, Max. It's not flattering. Somebody needs to teach you a little humility.--A good woman could do that.--She'd have to be armed and dangerous.-”

“There are some men who enter a woman's life and screw it up forever.”

“Cooking wasn’t so bad, I thought. In fact, it was a lot like sex. Sometimes it didn’t seem like such a good idea in the beginning, but then after you got into it …”

“It's a penis,' Grandma said. 'Stephanie got it in the mail. It's a pretty good one too.”

“Truth is, I'm a good Catholic girl. The faith has always been elusive, but the guilt is intractable. ”