“Joe" I said. "It's Stephanie.""Does this involve death?""Not yet.""Does this involve sex?""Not yet.""I can't imagine why else you'd be calling me.”

“You owe me!" -Stephanie"Why do I owe you?" -Joe"I caught your no good cousin." -Stephanie"Yeah and in the process you burned down a funeral home, and damaged thousands of dollars of government property." -Joe"Well if you are going to be picky about it...." -Stephanie”

“I told you that my idea was great.""They usually are.""Holy [crap]. Did you just admit that?""Maybe I did.""Uh-huh, you've always known my ideas hit a ten.""On a scale of 1 to 100, yes.""Ha.Ha. Guess what.Got another idea.""Does it involve eggs?""It doesn't involve eggs.""It doesn't?""But it does involve something equally tasty. And it involves you, me, a bed, and very little, if any, clothing.”

“Why did you call me that?""Cinda? Because no one else does.”

“Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.”

“How much longer on the divan? Why does sex have to mean everything? OK, it can mean something, but why everything? Why do thirty years have to go down the toilet because I wanted to touch somebody else? Am I missing something? Is this what it comes down to? Why does the sex have to mean everything?”