“Maybe next time we just open the door and start out with some bitch slapping.”

“I'd bitch slap the devil for you.”

“Opening my door to Dillon Ruddick, my bulding super. I handed him a cup of coffee. "Sorry about the blood." "What was it this time?" No one reported gunfire.""I hit a guy in the face with a hair dryer.""Whoa." Dillon said."It wasn't my fault," I told him."Maybe we should lay down some linoleum here. It would make things easier for clean up.”

“Sorry about Bender," Lula said, letting the Trans Am idle at the curb. "Maybe we could tell Vinnie he died. We could say we were all set to bring Bender in, and he died. Bang. Dead as a doorknob.""Better yet, why don't we just go back and kill him," I said. I opened the door to leave, caught my toe in the floor mat, and fell out of the car, face first. I rolled onto my back and stared up at the stars. "I'm fine," I said to Lula. "Maybe I'll sleep here tonight.”

“On the bright side, I'm sure this isn't the last time you'll ever get firebombed, so maybe you'll have better luck next time.”

“There were two doors that opened off the hallway. The doors were labeled PUSSY and MOTHERFUCKERS. "I'm taking the Motherfuckers door," I said to Ranger. "No way. That's my door.""Well, I'm sure as hell not taking the Pussy door.”

“The elevator doors opened, and Ranger stepped out and spied Tank stretched out on the carpet."Fainted," I said.Ranger walked to Tank and stood hands on hips, staring down at him. "Tank doesn't faint. I've been in firefights with him. He's a rock.""Well, the rock fainted.”