“Okay, take a deep breath, I told myself. Don't go all hormonal. Get the facts straight. Have a mental doughnut.”

“I was going to go to church, but I decided to get doughnuts instead.”

“There are four ways to manage stress. There's drugs, there's alcohol, there's sex, and there's doughnuts. I go with sex and doughnuts. I tried the other two and it wasn't any good. You being in a dry spell, you might have to rely on doughnuts.”

“Get me a gun. If I don't go into labor soon, I'm going to shoot myself. And pass the gravy. Pass it now."Valerie - To the Nines”

“Stephanie, I'm begging you. Eat some doughnuts. I can't keep going like this." - Morelli”

“I buy wine according to the bottle design. After I get down the first glass it all tastes okay to me so I figure you go for something classy to look at on the table”

“The way I see it, life is a jelly doughnut. You don't really know what it's about until you bite into it. And then, just when you decided it's good, you drop a big glob of jelly on your best T-shirt.”