“So elves could be walking around in our midst, disguised as normal, everyday, vertically challenged citizens.”

“You could be the Mega Mage of wizards. You could rule Minionfire.Do you really think so?'Yeah, but you'd have to make a deal with the wood elves.'I don't like the wood elves.'They're okay. They're misunderstood.”

“Mooner was walking around laying his hands on the cars, divining karma. "this is it", he said, standing by a small khaki-colored jeep."this car has protective qualities" You mean like a guardian angel?" I mean, like, it has seatbelts”

“I don't mean to be critical of the Trenton police," I said, "but wouldn't you think someone could catch this goddamn rabbit? He's riding around, handing out photos.”

“The way I see it, living in New Jersey is a challenge, what with the toxic waste and the eighteen wheelers and the armed schizophrenics."Connie Rosolli”

“My eyes rolled so far back in my head that I could see myself think”

“Connie, giving her thoughts on why Vinnie's hot temper is less than normal, says: "Lucille must have fed him a Vallium smoothie this morning.”