“Stephanie, I'm begging you. Eat some doughnuts. I can't keep going like this." - Morelli”

“Stephanie: “I have a list of Kenny's friends. I'm going to run through it.”Morelli: “Where'd you get this list?” Stephanie: “Privileged information.”Morelli: “You broke into his apartment and stole his little black book.”Stephanie: “I didn't steal it. I copied it.”Morelli: “I don't want to here any of this. You're not carrying concealed, are you?”Stephanie: “Who, me?”Morelli: “Shit, I must be crazy to work with you”

“Bob had a dog buscuit stuck to his head. "How does he always get food stuck to him?" I asked Morelli. "I don't know," Morelli said. "It's a Bob mystery. I think stuff falls out of his mouth and he rolls in it. I'm not sure."-Morelli And Stephanie”

“I like the way you've let your hair go curly," he finally said. "Suits your personality. Lots of energy, not much control, sexy as hell,"Joe Morelli to Stephanie Plum”

“There are four ways to manage stress. There's drugs, there's alcohol, there's sex, and there's doughnuts. I go with sex and doughnuts. I tried the other two and it wasn't any good. You being in a dry spell, you might have to rely on doughnuts.”

“Do you have someone watching her house?” (Stephanie)“That kind of surveillance only happens in the movies. We’re so underbudgeted we’re one step away fromholding bake sales to pay for toilet paper. (Morelli)”

“You owe me!" -Stephanie"Why do I owe you?" -Joe"I caught your no good cousin." -Stephanie"Yeah and in the process you burned down a funeral home, and damaged thousands of dollars of government property." -Joe"Well if you are going to be picky about it...." -Stephanie”