“Stephanie Plum: Do you have your stun gun and pepper sray?Lula: Does a chicken have a pecker? I could invade Bulgaria with the shit i've got in my handbag.”

“It wasn't exactly that Lula was fat. It was more that she was too short for her weight." - Stephanie Plum”

“I have bad car juju."-Stephanie Plum”

“As Stephanie and Lula were going after the bad guys, Lula was making preparations from the trunk of her Firebird. Stephanie looked inside and stopped breathing for a beat. "That's a rocket launcher!" "Yep," Lula said. "It's a big boy. I got it at a yard sale in the projects.”

“Do y’all have enough stun guns for them? (Madaug)Does a bear defecate rurally? What kind of question is that for someone who owns the biggest gun store in town? Of course I got plenty. I got enough Tasers to light up New York City AND Boston just for giggles. (Bubba)”

“[Stephanie] That's not the point. I can't just let monkeys loose in Trenton. [Lula] Why not? There's all kinds of crazy shit loose in Trenton.”