“Throwing up is not a group activity”

“Turns out, that's how it is with weddings. You just keep getting in deeper and deeper until you want to throw up.”

“When something needs to be ironed I put it in the ironing basket. If a year goes by and the item is still in the basket I throw the item away. This is a good system since eventually I end up only with clothes that don’t need ironing.”

“You have no spirit of culinary adventure. You need to be more like that snarky guy on the Travel Channel. He goes all over the world eating kangaroo a**holes and snail throw-up. He'd eat anything. He don't care how sick he gets. He's another one of my role models, except he needs ironing.”

“You know what this is?" Lula said. "This here's plane rage."Plane rage isn't allowed. It got taken off the allowed activities list along with eating. If you make a scene they'll hual you off in leg irons." Stephanie said.I'm tired of being stapped in here, too," Lula said. "This seat belt's too tight and it's giving me gas."Anything else?"There's no movie.”

“Aren't you something," Grandma said. "I never saw a midget up close." "Little person," Briggs said. "And I never saw anyone as old as you up close, either.”

“There are some men who enter a woman's life and screw it up forever.”