“We were discussing a grisly double murder and Rodriguez was telling us all this in the same sort of conversational tone a person might use to pass on a favorite lasagna recipe. And I was responding with the same enthusiasm a new cook might show. I was simultaneously horrified and impressed with myself.”

“I don't feel so good." Lula said. And she farted. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart. "Excuse me." she said. I was horrified and impressed all at the same time. It was a record breaking fart. On my best day, I couldn't come near to farting like that.”

“There's a small possibility that I might be a murder suspect"Stephanie”

“That might work," I said. "I'm good at faking it."This led to a couple moments of uncomfortable silence from both of us."You didn't mean... ?" Morelli asked."No. Of course not.""Never?""Maybe once."His eyes narrowed. "Once?""It's all that comes to mind. It was the time we were late for your Uncle Spud's birthday party.""I remember that. That was great. You're telling me you faked it?""We were late! I couldn't concentrate. It seemed like the best way to go.”

“Are we fighting?" I asked Morelli."No. Were discussing.""Are you sure?""Am I yelling?" Morelli asked. "Is my face purple? Are the cords on my neck standing out? Am I waving my arms around?""No.""The were not fighting.”

“I figured I'd embellish the truth a little, since the police might not be up on the finer points of bounty hunterism and might not understand about commandeering.”

“Get me a gun. If I don't go into labor soon, I'm going to shoot myself. And pass the gravy. Pass it now."Valerie - To the Nines”