“When Grandma Mazur is talking about the reason for the improved play of her 91-year-old bowling teammate, she said: "She's doing better now that we got her the longer tubing to her oxygen tank.”

Janet Evanovich

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“Grandma Mazur stood two feet back from my mother. "I gotta get me a pair if those," she said, eyeballing my shorts. "I've still got pretty good legs, you know." She raised her skirt and looked down at her knees. "What do you think? You think I'd look good in them biker things?" Grandma Mazur had knees like doorknobs.”


“You sure you don't want to go?” Grandma Mazur asked my mother.“I didn't know Moogey Bues,” my mother told her. “I've got better things to do than to go to a viewing of a perfect stranger.”“I wouldn't go either,” Grandma Mazur said, “but I'm helping Stephanie with this here manhunt. Maybe Kenny Mancuso will show up, and Stephanie will need some extra muscle. I was watching Television, and I saw how you stick your fingers in a person's eyes to slow them down.”“She's your responsibility,” my mother said to me. “She sticks her fingers in anybody's eyes I'm holding you accountable.”


“That shooting gave me an appetite," she said. "Somebody passme the potatoes."Grandma Mazur”


“I heard about them Rangers on TV,” Grandma said. “I heard they get dogs pregnant.” -Grandma Mazur”


“Grandma has a .45 long barrel that she keeps hidden from my mother. She got it from her friend Elsie, who picked it up at a yard sale. Probably it was in Grandma's purse. Grandma says it gives the bag some heft, in case she has to beat off a mugger. This might be true, but I think mostly Grandma likes pretending she is Clint Eastwood.”


“One of us should stop her," Ranger said to Morelli, his eyes fixed on me."Not going to be me," Morelli said. "Have you ever tried to stop her from doing something she wanted to do?""Haven't had much success at it," Ranger said.Morelli rocked on his heels. "One thing I've learned about Stephanie over the years, she's not good at taking orders.""Has authority issues," Ranger said."And if you piss her off, she'll get even. She ran me over with her father's Buick once and broke my leg."That got a small smile out of Ranger."Nice to see you boys bonding," I said.”