“Why do you gotta be going somewhere? Seems like it should be enough that we had nachos. And we got meaningful jobs. We catch bad guys. If it wasn't for us, there'd be vampires and all kinds of shit running around loose.”

“Sometimes we got to run to get to where the good Lawd need us to go. An' sometimes we got to just sit there an' listen for Him to tell us what to do, even if that mean we gotta suffer a li'l while.”

“I don't do my job to catch the bad guys. Why would I want to do that? No, I do my job to make order out of chaos.”

“That’s one thing about us Americans, right? We want everything tied up perfectly, no loose ends. We want all the answers and logical reasons for everything.... We demand a happy ending and for shit to make sense. Well, let me tell you something. It ain’t like that. Sometimes you don’t get to find out why. Sometimes shit doesn’t belong to you.”

“We all believe somewhere deep inside that we should be better, be doing more, be someone other than who we currently are. ...we feel as if we aren't good enough.”

“We fatties have a bond, dude. It's like a secret society. We got all kinds of shit you don't know about. Handshakes, special fat people dances-we got these secret fugging lairs in the center of the earth and we go down there in the middle of the night when all the skinny kids are sleeping and eat cake and friend chicken and shit. Why d'you think Hollis is still sleeping, kafir? Because we were up all night in the secret lair injecting butter frosting into our veins. ...A fatty trusts another fatty.”